To Annette, Richard and Brianne — I was deeply saddened to hear of Uncle Tom’s passing, but as I was reflecting on the time I spent with him, I recall nothing but fond memories. Each year, I very much looked forward to the annual Tom Haines trip to the Pacific Northwest.
I recall our crabbing trip in the Puget Sound with Scott and Maggie. It began with Tom actually being disappointed in me for forgetting my sunglasses, which forced us to turn back despite being well along in our journey—a mistake I’ve rarely made since. But in the end, being with Tom that weekend, sailing in the Hood Canal, talking about baseball, friendship, Kalamazoo, and life in general, resulted in one of the most memorable experiences of my upbringing. Tom had an easy and relaxed nature about him that always seemed to fill others around him with a sense of comfort. I understand that it couldn’t always be like that, but to me, I found his presence to be truly joyful.
I also recall during the Summer of '17, Tom was at one of my many baseball games he attended throughout the years. I had dropped an easy fly ball in CF and was quite embarrassed with Tom there to watch me play. But instead of being disappointed or cracking a joke, Tom passed along some valuable knowledge: “When running to catch a fly ball, never run on your heels, stay on the balls of your feet." He was correct! It’s something I've done ever since, and a tip I've passed along to dozens of students.
But what I admired most about Tom was his ability to be candid with me despite my age. On a trip to a baseball practice (go figure), I had made a comment about how I thought a particular group of people were more intelligent than another. Tom quickly retorted, “That wasn’t a very smart comment for a smart person.” He went on to inform me about how different cultures preach different values and how that may lead to differing academic results. In the moment, I was upset and disappointed that he felt it necessary to correct me. But now, I’m grateful for his ability to compassionately set straight the naïveté of a young boy.
I am truly sorry for your loss, but I rest easy knowing how lucky I was to have someone like Uncle Tom around as I was growing up. I believe that the character of a person is measured in the lessons they pass onto others. Given the limited time we spent together, Tom lived up this ideal to the fullest. I will miss him dearly.
Jaxon Mills
