Final Arrangements: When Family Members Disagree
When a loved one dies, emotions often run high. It's a stressful time, and family members may disagree on arrangements. It's hard to know what to do in that situation.
What can you do if this happens to your family? First, take a moment to appreciate that people are not their best selves when grieving. Try to communicate calmly, taking everyone's opinions into consideration. Remember that the point is not to win the argument but to honor a loved one who has died. Think about what he or she would have wanted and recognize that a family squabble would not be on the list.
If you have not indicated what you want those arrangements to be before your own death, the responsibility falls to your spouse. If your spouse has died or is unable to manage this, your adult children are next in line. If you don't have a spouse or children, your parents and siblings will be expected to manage things. After that comes a court-appointed guardian or the most responsible party available.
Of course, you can prevent disputes from happening by preplanning. When you preplan, there's no question of what you would have wanted and no need for anyone to do any planning. Your family members will be spared the responsibility of guessing your wishes, and they won't have to answer any difficult questions during one of the most stressful time in their lives. Your funeral will be conducted exactly the way you would have wanted, and your family will be free to focus their energy on mourning your loss, supporting each other and beginning to find their path toward healing.
Whether you have an immediate need or are preplanning for the future, Hawaiian Memorial Park Mortuary at Valley of the Temples can help. Call (808) 824-3425 for more information or visit our Plan Ahead page to learn about preplanning and request your free preplanning kit.