My Ma Truong's Obituary
Written by Janice Liu, daughter
It is with mixed emotions that I write these paragraphs. I’m saddened as Mom is no longer here with us. However, I also feel comforted in knowing that she had lived her life to the fullest, a life that is worth celebrating with joy and laughter.
It seemed like yesterday that Mom and I were on the phone, just talking about anything: her favorite singers, her favorite Hong Kong shows, her trips to Vietnam and Hong Kong, among other things. Best of all, the family trips to the pools, beaches, and the country villages in Vietnam when I was a little girl.
I always enjoyed listening to Mom talk about her life with my Dad, who passed away a few years ago. I could feel her joy when she shared the fond memories with Dad, but I also felt her pain when she told me she missed him every day.
Mom, thank you for everything you’ve given us, and the warmth we shared during your precious time on Earth. You will be missed by all of us, and forever live in our hearts. May you rest in peace, together with dad!
Written by Vickie Hopps, granddaughter
Traveling to Hawaii every time was a treasured moment spent with Popo and the rest of the Truong family. We will miss seeing the joy as she watches the younger ones run around and play. You are loved and we will miss you dearly. Rest in Peace with Gong Gong.
By Quan Haberstroh, daughter
Mom never minded what color we married to. She never voiced her opinion to us.
Written by Daniel Truong, grandson
Just as one does not feel happiness without sorrow, I did not fully realize the influence my grandmother played with until her passing. My grandmother was a second mother to me. Cooking, cleaning, and keeping order in the house when my parents were working, she was a stern but loving influence in my younger years.
As time passed, I guiltily confess I grew distant from her. Physically, we lived further apart than when I was a kid. Socially, my degrading Chinese stifled even the simplest chats. To lighten this guilt, I would ask my relatives who see her regularly about her doings, vicariously experiencing being with her. We both grew older and experienced our separate milestones. My first swim meets occurred at the same time as her first dialysis appointments. Now, my first winter break as a graduate student coincides with her passing.
Her passing made me realize many things. She was more than a person who gave me lucky envelopes on special occasions. She was an unwavering reminder of my heritage, an inspiration for my career path, and a reminder of the importance of compassion. As time passes, the loss will fully reveal itself, but so will my appreciation for her impact in my life.
Written by Duong Ma, nephew
Gone, but not forgotten. Always on our mind; forever in our heart. Rest in peace.
Remembering Aunt My Ma By Cau Ma, nephew My name is Cau Ma, and my father - Minh Ma - is Aunt My’s second younger brother. Although we physically lived apart for almost 50 years, I’ve never felt far away from my Aunt’s love. You see… family ties in the Ma Family… are one of the strongest bonds left on this earth. In her lifetime, my Aunt sustained and built a legacy of respect, love and giving that has inspired and will continue to inspire us all. She has shown us that respect and love for one’s parents can be our north stars - a guide… to honoring promises and looking out for our loved ones, near or far. I cannot emphasize this statement enough. Because… I am because of my Aunt. My Aunt always led through example. Her spoken lessons stuck with you, but her actions ran deep. In Vietnam, when I was eight years old, she looked after me in
her city home, raising me for a few years, teaching me right from wrong, and showing me I can simply be myself - a young boy still figuring out who he wanted to become. Those few years of living with her were critical. Growing up with my Aunt, I was exposed to empathy, decision-making centered on family and family preservation, and deep respect for one’s parents and elders, which has ultimately shaped who I am today. I will never forget her stories highlighting her strength, conviction and devotion to her family, no matter the geographic distance. She battled freezing Virginian weather to simply get to work every morning, determined to earn enough to send back home to her siblings. She always kept in touch and sent warm holiday wishes every Christmas and Chinese New Year. She was the Aunt who never forgot your birthday, your child’s birthday, or any important anniversaries. She was the Aunt who simply took you back… reminding us that although life is short, there is so much we can achieve. She sponsored and brought my father and family to America. She was the foundation to our lives in the U.S. and supported us through everything. Her kindness and humility will never be forgotten…it is forever a part of us, now and for generations to come. To me, my Aunt will always represent a feeling of homecoming. Family history, roots and ties intertwined with memory, hope and aspiration to exceed one’s dreams beyond what was afforded at birth. Her legacy of giving, respect and love for one’s family illuminates an unprecedented revolution that pushes us to reimagine what tradition looks like in a modern world and to reinterpret what it means to be an Asian American, a mother, a grandmother, a sister and an aunt through hardship, war, refuge, prosperity, and celebration. The Ma Family is forever grateful for Aunt My Ma and all she has done to support us. I love her so much. I miss her so much. May she rest in peace and be blessed with good fortune in the world beyond. Love, Cau Ma
Written by Phuong Burke, daughter
Being the first born had its benefit, even as a girl, in a not-so traditional Chinese family in Vietnam. Why not-so traditional Chinese? you may wonder. It was because Mom believed that if you wanted to get a good life in life, you need to have a good education, therefore, everybody must get an education, and we all went to private Chinese school so that we learned Chinese along side Vietnamese.
Almost anything I wanted I got as long as I kept good grade in school. She even took me and my classmates to public swimming pool weekly so that I may learn swimming. I found it interesting that many of my classmates, both boys and girls, loved to hang around my house, whether I was home or not. Mom always fed us with yummy snacks. Later, I realized that she tried to experience a life that she missed while growing up missing her own Mom. My Popo passed when Mom was 17 years old. She practically raised 2 younger brothers and 4 sisters, the youngest one was a newborn baby. I remember how proud she looked while watching her 3 daughters standing at the head of the class line during the school’s year-end assembly.
On Sundays, Mom would pack us all up and headed to Saigon where my uncles and aunties lived, because our Gong Gong would come to town also. That was a family tradition we continue, even today, in America.
Immigrating to USA was a decision my parents made so that the family would not have to live under Communism. It was the first time Mom took a job, working at a Chinese restaurant in Roslyn, Virginia. She learned to make fancy restaurant food, we were all dazzled, and well fed. After Mom fell on the ice trying to catch a bus to work, we decided to move to Hawaii. Some of my siblings moved back to East coast when they got married.
Mom always celebrated our lunar birthdays. Mom remembered all of our birthdays, including our uncles’ and aunties’ families. Our families grow. Every other Sunday when we visited Mom and Dad, she said “we” were to celebrate so-and-so birthday, sometimes, the person was on the East coast. No problem, we called them, sang Happy Birthday song, and ate their birthday lunch.
Grandkids loved to visit Popo during Chinese new year celebration, not only they got to enjoy Popo’s fabulous Chinese new year spread, they also got the lai-se, the lucky money in a red envelop. My haole husband loved that tradition, too. We spend a lot of money on Xmas presents, she spent hers on lai-se. There were these special lai-se that we put under our pillow to keep us forever young… my husband and I had a whole stack of these red lai-se at our dresser drawer.
If I missed our Sunday lunch 2 weeks in a roll, I would get a call, saying they prepared this disk I liked for me, so, I showed up… what a Mom would do to see their kids.
Mom would attend all her kids and grandkids’ graduations. When I looked at her during the ceremony, she had that proud expression I used to see years back with her 3 girls standing at the head of their class…
I took on this role to organize family trips. A family of 22 went to Orlando, Florida. We had fun at Disney World, Universal Studio. That was the first time I realized that Mom and Dad were not young anymore. I took them back to the vacation home halfway through the second day of Disney World tour because they were exhausted. Little Kevin liked Popo and Gong Gong to go on the ride with him, so that we could go to the front of the line with their wheelchairs.
We then took a trip to Vancouver Canada. Our cousins helped us to book a road trip for the families of 15. We went to Butchart Gardens, glacier… amazing trip. Family reunion at Houston Texas, 2010 family reunion on Big Island, Hawaii. Travel had to halt when Mom was diagnosed to have kidney failure and needed to be on dialysis 3 times a week.
We miss you, Mom.
What’s your fondest memory of My?
What’s a lesson you learned from My?
Share a story where My's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with My you’ll never forget.
How did My make you smile?
