Da Burnside
In memory of Betty Kimiko Uehara April 19, 2021
I’ve just stumbled across Betty’s Obituary on the Internet, and the reality of her passing is hitting me hard. I would like to say a few words about her and what she meant to me personally even though this is four years too late.
My family lived on Ponape, Eastern Caroline Islands (now Pohnpei, Federated States of Micronesia) during the same time frame that Betty lived there. That is how we knew her. She became a close family friend. I was a child at the time.
My mother asked me if I wanted to have a party for my twelfth birthday. I thought about it for ten seconds before I said, “No, I don’t want a birthday party, but could we invite Betty over for dinner?” I’ve never been a party animal, but even now, I do enjoy the company of a few good people from time to time. That year, Betty gave me a small tiki head with mother-of-pearl inlay eyes, which I wore around my neck night and day until I was 16 years old when, for some reason, I put it in my purse then promptly mislaid it in JFK Airport in New York. In a strange turn of events, my purse was found and returned to me a year later. All the money in the purse was gone, of course, but my tiki was still in the purse. Eventually, I married a man I met in college. When we arrived in Kaneohe where he had been newly stationed, Betty greeted us and took us out for lunch. My husband Ken flew jets in the Marine Corps. This is a dangerous job, even in peace time, but I asked him to wear my tiki when he went on his missions. And like the tiki Betty gave me, he always came home again.
Every other summer, my parents took my sisters and me stateside to reunite with family. The summer I turned 13, my parents gave me a choice to go with them to see the New York World’s Fair or go to Japan with Betty. That was a choice I didn’t even have to think about. Betty took me to see the Tiger Balm Gardens in Hong Kong, and then we took a ten-day coach tour of Honshu. I fell in love with Japan; I wanted to live there. The people were so gracious, the cities and towns so clean and safe, and the countryside so ethereal. Also, I won’t lie, I loved the food—rice, tempura shrimp with a tempura chrysanthemum leaf, and tea every day for lunch. I’m 68 now, and I remember the food. When our tour was over, she brought me back to Honolulu to her parents’ home for a night. The next day, I left for boarding school.
I regret we lost touch. I would have liked to tell Betty how much she impacted me when I was so young and impressionable. I will think of her always with gratitude and love.
--Debra Barry Burnside