John Carlos Amado
Lyle,
A year ago this morning, I got the worst phone call of my. 5 something in the morning I woke to missing Tito's first call, half asleep I figured buttcalled me, because we never call each other. The call came again and I knew something happened. He began with saying my name...and just went straight to it. I waited for the name...I expected every other name, ANY other name but yours. Lyle DIED! NOOOO!, I said. In a way, I died right then..inside...not physically like I wish. Not my lil Bro Lyle...my favorite person in this World. I went outside and started yelling and crying. If Tito hadn't tasked me with the mission of finding Sean, I would have had a complete meltdown n selfdestructed or destroyed the first arrogant deadbeat chronic thug I saw.
Watching you play sports was something I loved. In prison, mom would tell me in letters n calls, about how good you were. How coaches would lobby her to have you...offering to pick you up and drop you off, probably even paid your fees too. I knew I needed to get out and get back to Hawaii to be with you guys, encourage you, watch you play. I knew mom was working most of the time and nobody else from the family was there to root you on and cheer for you. It was my privilege to be your older brother and to watch you play. Seeing the kind of kid you were, brought only admiration. I wanted to be like YOU.
Man you could pitch. Watching you play, standing, from behind the backstop, I could see your badassness. Breaking balls I couldn't hit. Your determined focused look. Probably seeing me behind the catcher and umpire, pumping my fist, pride written all over my face and body language.
I miss throwing football with you in the yard. I regret all the time I spent running around with others, when it could have been with you. I'm so glad we ended up playing together on the same team. Your last season, your last team. It was fun. We were like the Ringers! Lol.
I'll never forget you Lyle. Your always alive if I'm alive. Because you Live in my Heart. You live there forever. I'll see you soon, Bro. I gotta work now, but I could sit here outside my job and write to you for days. I love you. Have a spot on your team ready for me! 3rd base! Lates
